matthew and i with brixa when she was just a baby (summer 2009)
i wonder to myself why some people find it necessary to criticise mine and matthews relationship when it comes to our fights...or lack there of. on occasion i am part of a discussion with individuals that share details about their arguments and frustrations that they are having with their significant other. when they ask me what matthew and i fight about and i tell them that we have never gotten in a fight they look at me completely stunned and puzzled. quickly i am told "well that's not a healthy relationship" or "well one of you must always agree with the other all the time, even if you don't want to."
i started to feel like i had to defend our relationship...wait what?!? why is it that i have to defend mine and matthews relationship just because we don't fight...is this right? then it hit me...it's not that matthew and i don't have fights...it's just that we fight right.
i think every couple has a different way of expressing themselves, matthew and i are both very laid back people. ever since we started dating we have always done a great job of discussing things that bother us before it escalates into something bigger than necessary.
i can happily say that our relationship is very healthy and can guarantee that neither of us ever settle. we may all fight differently than one another, but as long as all of us are fighting right that's all that matters.
xoxo - lindsay
My husband and I never fought either! Once we had kids, things changed a bit but we still don't fight. I think everyone is different but I personally couldn't be with someone for the rest of my life that I fought much with! I'm a lover, not a fighter. ;) Sounds like you guys are too.
ReplyDeleteWow that is awesome that you guys are pretty content with one another. My husband and i are both stubborn people, which can be good and bad! Through the years we have worked on our relationship and trying to stay calm before anything gets out of hand. Especially since we have a little girl and and want her to see love in the home! So glad you have such a great relationship with your love!
ReplyDeleteGood for you! When we first started dating I felt like I had to defend my relationship with J.L. and it's just silly. If you're in love and you're happy and don't fight that's absolutely ridiculous of people to say that! Good for you :)
ReplyDeleteI love this so much!! My boyfriend and I "fight" like you and your husband do! I just tell him what's on my mind instead of holding it in and therefore it won't create a huge argument. I am so glad you wrote this because I'm scared that one day we will get into a huge fight because "everyone does" and it's "healthy" (sorry for so many use of quotation marks!) but I see now that it's not always the case!
ReplyDeleteSeriously, don't let people get to you. Be happy that you guys realize that fighting really doesn't get you anywhere. My husband and I have "discussions" that get heavy, but we're discussing...not yelling, not calling names, not hurting each other. That's totally healthy.
ReplyDeleteAlso, some people just love drama...I'm not one of those people. XOXO
Aww look at the pup! :)
ReplyDeleteAnd it sounds like a healthy relationship to me!! If you can work out your issues by remaining calm and talking it out that sounds healthier then heated arguments! Hub & I are guilty of heated arguments. But in our defense ;) we literally grew up together and had what I like to think of as growing pains! We're much better at talking calmly now that we've fully matured! (Wow long response, sorry!)
Oh, screw those people. Every relationship is different, and plus, a little fight here and there is healthy in a relationship, it's what brings you together! :P
ReplyDeletexo
Sealverland
My husband and I never really fight either. Sometimes we have disagreements, but it rarely escalates to a fight. We are also both very laid back. Who cares what other people think. They are probably just jealous of your relationship. It sounds extremely healthy to me. Have a lovely day!
ReplyDeleteI met a really old man one day at church (he was ADORABLE) who said that him and his wife have never even had an argument...and they had been married for 60'ish years. Just because the media and other examples of marriage set a standard does not mean it is the right standard. I think it is amazing that you two fight right. Its normal for you and that makes it perfect.
ReplyDeleteThe Hubs and I never fight either. We're lovers <3. Love on sister.
ReplyDeleteThat is so awesome and refreshing! A great example of how a relationship should really be. All those haters are just jealous of your relationship. Rock on girl!!
ReplyDeleteNo need to justify yourself girl! You are absolutely right anyways. Your relationship with Matthew should be praised, not the other way around!
ReplyDeleteI WISH that Bedis and I had never gotten into a fight! Seriously.
ReplyDeleteWe have learned to talk things out without any yelling, but it took some time to get there. And sometimes, it's just impossible to stay calm!
You guys are LUCKY that you don't fight! Fighting stinks.
It worried me in the beginning of my relationship with {cv} that we didn't fight...but in reality, we just relate in a different way than other couples. Sure, we have our banters now that we're married...but at the end of the day, it comes down to respect. Great post :) fighting right is definitely what matters. xoxo {av}
ReplyDeleteOh gosh, I totally agree. My boyfriend and I are fairly good at reaching the point of "lets agree to disagree" early on in the 'disagreement', rather than fighting our corners for several hours!
ReplyDeleteWhilst I think there's nothing wrong with a healthy argument, it certainly is not the only way to have an argument. The boyfriend says I tend to have my 'strops' to which he profusely apologises, and I accept with a stuck out lip haha! However, normally these strops are over the littlest things!
Much love,
Hannie - Tea and Biscuits
xxxx
My parents never fought! Ever! They had the most beautiful and the most honest relationship I have ever had the pleasure of experiencing.
ReplyDeleteI wish my marriage was more like theirs. And yours. Thank you for your perspective.
i'd rather be in a relationship without fighting than one with fighting! good for you guys! adam and i are very un-fighty as well. we've had a couple, but only when we're both stressed and we vent. all of the times we have fought, i regret it.
ReplyDeletenow, where can i see more of that insanely cute puppy??!?!?!?!